See through the dark

You scream, but no one hears you 

You cry, but no one is there to wipe your tears 

The same tears that fall below your eyes onto your pillow at night 

Your acting different, but no one seems to notice 

You tell them that you’re not okay,

But they tell you “you’ll be fine, don’t give up, pray about it.” 

You feel trapped in a world that doesn’t see how deep you have sunken into a dark place 

And that’s the worst kind of trap because you feel like you can’t escape from it 

So, you put a smile on your face to ease the pain 

You do the same routine, 

you pretend to have a normal day to feel like everything is the same 

Seem like no one notice you until you try to end your pain

And you feel it all over again in a hospital room

Where now everyone looks at you as if “you’re crazy” 

Getting side-eyed from your family 

Because they failed to notice you in your darkest moments 

Getting comfort hugs from friends because they feel bad for you and can’t understand your pain 

Getting asked a million questions by professionals that you think will never relate to what you have experienced 

You feel that no one sees you, no one hears you, no one can understand you 

And some don’t get a chance to be saved

Sometimes the darkness takes over their mind 

& it ends there

Wishing someone would have been there when they fell at their lowest 

As they drown their sorrows inside of a pill bottle 

And wanted to throw it back up as they choked asking for help 

Or as they pulled the trigger 

The empty sound after they let out the bullet- the same emptiness they once felt 

Or you grasp for air underwater 

As you begin to afloat to a place anywhere better than here 

Or the blade they took to their wrist 

Because the cutting was easier to deal with than to show the world their scars 

Or the drugs and bottles are easier to swallow than to confess you are hurting

And it’s because individuals are struggling with mental health 

and it’s a topic we try to avoid 

 We are taught to learn how to “deal” with our emotions 

But we never learn how to express them 

She’s hurting

He’s hurting 

They are hurting 

But all the emotions stay inside because you don’t want to feel like a burden 

And no matter how hard you tried to talk to someone 

It doesn’t always help...

Your escape is when you run the shower and the hot water hits 

It’s a place where you to feel safe 

Because no one can hear you cry 

And you start to wonder “how would life be for everyone if I died?”

And all those painful thoughts start running back again 

Trying to release those demons within 

So you try again, 

the next day 

You’ll do it all over 

Pretending that you’re okay 

& it’s the never-ending cycle of not being okay. 

This post is for individuals who are struggling with mental health and the ones who have struggled. This is also a post for the ones who know someone who is struggling with mental health. Make sure you take the time to check on your family, friends, partners, etc. Help them find resources or simply be a listening ear. 

“What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation.”- Glenn Close